i dont know...

sumtimes, i dont know what i'm doing...
what i should do...
what i should decide the best...
what the things that i need to conforms with others..
whether it is right or wrong..
but our life is always need us to decide...to think...

sumtimes when I've decide wrong..
i'm going to blame myself...
blame of my disability...
it turns me down...

ouh....life is so difficult to me..
its really hard to change, even to manage myself....
i dont know whether i'm deserve to get the best in my life...
my tears drop..again..and again..

......later,,,i've heard the voice....
voice inside my heart...
.......u can do it, please don't get down,dear..just left urself to God..
..He's the one that most knows everything..
my tears stop...i've spirited back..
i know i shoudn't feel like despair...
its not such a way for me as muslim...

then i took my ablution n start to pray...
pray to fulfill back my lost spirit and pray to return to U...
thank God Ya Allah...
u give me this feel, u give me courage, u give me love n everythin'..
now,,i'm feel that i'm yours...and always yours...
U're always love ur slave...
U never left ur slave alone...

i promise Ya Allah...
whatever things happen to me,,,
i'll return all back to u..,
and if one day i forget what i'm telling now,,,
please remember me Ya Allah.. and please dont left me...
because i'm just a human that always forget,that have nothing,...
nothing..without Ur concern, without Ur help...
Thank God i'm muslim...
Thank God Ya Allah...

now, i know...
my disabilities are the things that i need to change...
change to make it's my ability...
yeah, i need to make a change...
change for goodness,,,
yes, i can change...if Allah will it...=)

~~Thank U ya Allah for always giving me a chance to repair myself..repair to be Ur honest, thankful slave, and a better person....while the song of InsyaAllah and Open ur eyes are like playing in my ear end now...T_T